Every !so! often: The healing process

Now as many of you may know I have just been through a recent breakup, probably the worst I’ve had to cope with, but I’m not going let that define me. So to help me move along I have started a bit of a healing process. I will be doing this article in point format taking time to explain each step of my process. If during and after you find their are some steps that don’t make sense or think i should make changes please feel free to leave me a comment bellow.

Click Play 

[audio https://googledrive.com/host/0BwttHdsIWSgFRElfUlVVQ0dCaGM/Every So often S1E4.mp3]

A change of tunage

This one is simple. As is means I just change the music i listen to regularly. This part is the first and maybe the most important for me to help the process of moving on. If you have read my Every !So! often blog in the past you may know that I attach music to memories. Memories of places, events, times in my life, people, games and most of all relationships. For example the song “Don’t go by Wretch 32” will forever make me think about her (my ex). This is because of a process that  goes on in my subconscious that associates song to what ever is most on my mind when i hear it for the first time. This process is reinforced over time as i keep listening to the song and eventually That song is forever attached to a memory. So what am i listening to? Well as usual All American Rejects (Move Along album) Is on my playlist. They were tied to memories long ago before I had ever been in a relationship or had this much responsibilities. This makes them the perfect go to music whenever I go through a breakup. I have also been sent a song from a friend earlier today (I started this article a few weeks ago) that i will be adding to my new playlist (thanks Mordecai).

This is the song by Stromae that I play during the podcast.

Stress Relief

One of my many flaws as a person is that I stress about situations and things that I know I shouldn’t. I know that I shouldn’t yet I still do. It is one of those uncontrollable quarks that that I am constantly trying to change about myself. I personally take responsibility for all that happens around me in my life and so if I had a problem before that caused what happen to happen it means that I need to re-evaluate myself and make some changes in my life. When I started writing this article I was in a bad place and one of the things that had me the most stressed was my job and so I quite that job to do a less stressful job. I put up with that job at the time because i needed another form of employment to make sure that if ever my significant other at the time required/wanted I could provide, but now that it’s just me alone again I am not of the temperament to put up with any form of un-needed stress. I will not go into detail as to how the job was stressful, but trust me it was highly stressful.
As a part of the stress Relief process I have started doing things that make me happy again. This includes Gaming, watching more anime and soon reading. So with that we go right into the next section.

Otaku mode activated

I’m watching a lot of anime, playing games and reading manga again. I’m currently playing a lot of Assassins creed 4: black flag or as amgfail from What’s Your Tag? puts it “Pirates the game”. It’s an amazing game and probably my favourite game in the series. That Edward he is a true pirate and I enjoy every minute of playing as him as he raids and pillages part of the Caribbean (I actually currently reside in the Caribbean). Oh and funny story I actually pirated the game, but don’t worry I’m buying me a copy when I get paid or if I win that sweet copy that our friends over at Nineknights are giving away then I’ll give a copy away on BSB, so either way I’m buying a copy because the team at Ubisoft Montreal did an amazing job at creating this game and they deserve every cent my 60 bucks.   So loosing myself in my past times like reading and gaming are the perfect way for me to escape my thoughts. It helps me focus and that is something that I need more of right now. The anime I’m watching these days is no where near the amount it was a few years ago but I’m slowly trying to watch more and more new stuff like Noragami. Don’t worry though, I have no intention to bury myself into my gaming/anime at the moment as I still do have responsibilities and that didn’t change even if I have, just a little .

Family time is important

Whenever I go through hard moments in my life the people that are always there for me are family. This includes my immediate family and my extend family, some of whom I have never met physically but have been there for me through the hard times. One most mentionable is my bro (Mario Hickson) who has taken just a moment in his day, everyday to check in on me and make sure I was fine. the simple things like that show a persons true character. He did not have any reason to do so yet he did without ever being asked. Mario, bro you have my undying respect and I will forever be in your dept. You do not know how many days I was in a serious down mood when just your periodical “Hi Bro how you doing” saved me from myself.
Other than Mario there was all my BSF who all had their own ways of looking out for me. From Rai’s toughen up chats to Shellz and Cece allowing me to hang out by them and Jess and her advice, Thank you all Neko, Ryu, Roger and everyone else for taking the time to be what family is suppose to be, there for each other.
My two biological sisters who have just smothered me in your affections I thank you too. I must apologize to you for taking advantage of the fact that you were being sympathetic towards me to and getting get more special treatment than I deserved.

Taking care of me

This is the part that I “MUST” do if I can ever hope to truly be the me that I was before. This process is probably the most fun part of all as it involves me spoiling myself in things that I like, as I am the kind of bloke that starts to care less and less about myself the more invested in a relationship. I tend to loose fitness, and tend to spend less time and money on myself until I can hardly recognise myself anymore. This may be hard for some to believe but in all honesty when I’m in a relationship most of my money is saved for the future of that relationship. I ‘m not the kind to go into relationships for the short term (sorry no flings) I like the long term romantic stuff, and so the more invested I become in a relationship the less invested I become in me. lol maybe that’s why I can’t seem to stay in one, i tend to have more people interested in me when I’m, single than when I’ve been in a relationship for a few months. That about the time I stop cutting my hair as much, grow out that beard and stop working out (I know bad habit, I’ll change)

So now I have to start caring about how I look which includes shopping for new clothes, working out as I use too, and eating as I once did (hello again bottomless pit that is my stomach). Shopping for me is quite simple though.

• step one: Sit as desk
• Step two: log into amazon
• Step three: add what I like to cart
• Step four: checkout and wait for delivery.

Yep I’m not into that going to stores and trying on stuff, heck I think most blokes prefer to shop the way I do. I’m starting gym again on Monday so you can count on me filling out my instagram with new pics as I get fit again, and that will mean that I’ll be eating like there is no tomorrow. I need to put back on some pounds so that when I beef back up I look better than I was before.

Anywho this is getting a bit too long for my liking so I’ll end it here. thanks for reading and leave me a comment if you would like to add/ask anything.